|

Nasrallah Defies Israel Again!
As everybody whose anybody on certain oh-so-exclusive email lists knows, the villainous Hezbollah leader Hassan Nasrullah was captured a day and a half or so ago, depending on one's time zone, if one participates in time zones, which I personally do not, I find them vulgar.
Anyway, Nasrallah, being the leader of Hezbollah was disguised as a hospital, as usual, but this time he did not fool the wily (not to mention bold and daring) militant Zionist commandos, acting as is their wont, on the unerring intelligence of Mosaad, the famed torture wing of the shiniest ho in PimpUSA's stable, who had informed them that the evil terrorist mastermind had gotten up as usual and donning the obligatory Hezbollah hospital disguise, set out for Baalbek, to plan more giant firecracker attacks against Israel to push it into the sea.
And of course everybody knows the story now, of that brave raid that exposed Hezbollah's hospital disguise to all the world, and succeeded in the bringing to eternal justice of many terrorists, some of them of that small variety that will most certainly be lobbing Katusha's at the Zionist stronghold of Haifa in less than two decades, or would have been, if those brave commandos had not acted pre-emptively.
Not even Olmert mentioned the big "Get" though, he had already been talked to a bit by Mosaad, who had wanted it made public about the Hezbollah practice disguising itself as a hospital, at least not until the next Geraldo, anyway, so the juicy intellibit was confined to those certain newsletters, and on a few of the most elite and exclusive websites, just waiting for the Now It Can Be Told moment, "Reveal Day," as Miss Niecy says on "Clean House."
So Israel was quite unprepared for the terrible shock of turning on their TV sets to see the recently-captured fiend giving a speech looking for all the world like someone who had not been recently seized by bold and daring commandos at all, and was, in fact, undergoing the most thorough of "interrogations" at that very moment, in a most unpleasant cell reserved for the most vile fiends, namely anybody who disagrees with natural settlement expansion and burning Arab children alive.
The cheek! The nerve! The - if we may be so bold and daring, and why, yes, I believe we will - sheer and unmitigated chutzpah of Nasrullah is unprecedented!
It is said that gunmen were dispatched to the chamber where Nasrullah was being interrogated, stubbornly, despite the best efforts of Israel's best and brightest, insisting that he was only a man who lived in Baalbek and ran a grocery store, and furthermore having the audacity to claim that the name Hassan Nasrullah is not the most uncommon appellation in Lebanon, and there are liable to be dozens, if not hundreds, of individuals running around the country on any given day with that selfsame name - Aha! We can hear the Mosaadlings exclaim! So he has doubles! Just like Suh-day-um, drawls the American observer, just there to see if they need any more tongs, he has brought a FedEx plane full of new ones, just in case - Seize them all! the cry goes up! No, wait - Mosaad disagrees, they will be expecting that. Let us instead deceive them. We will kill all the ones who are NOT named Hassan Nasrullah! That will teach them! No, No, not the tongs! The terrorists, you ignorant schmucken! The ones who have dared to name themselves something other than Hassan Nasrullah, thinking they can fool us. Do they not know we are Mosaad! We cannot be fooled!
Yes, yes, agreed the politicians, sweating in their Armani, that will show that we have compassion for our enemies, that we have the most moral army in the world. Now those tongs - are they stainless? We are a bit fastidious about these matters, you know...
|