one man's conspiracy is another man's business plan
Sunday, February 22, 2004 | Leaked Classified Memo to Tenet and Cheney
Dear Messrs. Tenet and Cheney,
Attached please find the results of our latest and we believe, our most impressive, effort to provide the Occupation Forces a credible Osama bin Laden in time for the fall launch of your new automated vote "tally" system. We understand the new system is modelled on the manual process that has been employed so successfully in Egypt for many years, and we would like to extend our congratulations to the Diebold company for this significant contribution to democracy.
To return to the subject at hand, you will notice that all the gentlemen included in this latest lot are of the required height, and we apologize for the inclusion in a previous submission of a few who fell short of this specification. We regret any inconvenience our error may have caused.
You will also note that each specimen has been fitted with state of the art contact lenses, and provided with either chemical hair color or implants, whichever was most appropriate in the individual case. We have also taken the precaution of treating the specimens with a dual process melanin-enhancement process, consisting of daily full-body treatments in the sunbeds installed in our finest 5 star hotels in Karachi, and we have taken the additional precaution of coating each specimen with the universally recognized tan enhancer, in order to bring all skin tones into spec compliance.
We have also taken care to assure correct and natural-looking facial hair in both configuration and coloring.
As per our agreement, each specimen comes dressed in a fashionable but conservative swimtrunk or unitard, and all costume selections will be billed and shipped separately.
While it is true that we were unable to secure a reputable Yemeni source, we are aware that the United States and Norway have a long-standing and cordial history of both trade and diplomatic relations, and we believe that both you and Agent. bin Laden will be pleasantly surprised and extremely pleased with the results we have been able to obtain with these Norwegian specimens.
Naturally, we would have preferred to work with a domestically available raw resource, but unfortunately, the height requirement as stated in the purchase order was incompatible with the relatively short stature of most Pakistanis, with the exception of the Balochs, of course, but believe us, you don't want to go there.
As always, it is a pleasure to do business with you and we look forward to working with you to insure a festive and successful Spring Offensive.
Lieutenant General Ehsan ul Haq
Actions like Sep 11 do not happen in a vaccuum.
Long before those hijackers ever stepped foot on the planes the damage
had been done. They were brainwashed with the same type of garbage
propaganda that is spewed from Fatwa's weblog.
Middle Eastern countries are so much more barbaric today and preAmercia than America can ever hope to be...America has only been around 230 years...who did you blame for everything before that Ductape? I am calling a Fatwa on your bullshit!
IMO - terrorist plain and simple. He is an Al queda operative who
should be put in a cage on gitmo Skinner
My favorite..."In Defense of Holocaust Deniers"
I always thought that "The Enemy Within" was just a metaphore for liberalism, that is, until I encountered Ductape Fatwa. He should be in an orange jumpsuit for sure.
peopleforchange.netductape is either a commie, al queda, or a deep cover mole
Tells you something about this asshole doesn't it. He's really serious.
I believe that DF is nothing but a Republican plant...
Ductape is a commie, a terrorist, and he drinks blood too. He drinks
Capitalist blood. He eats unborn babies too
Give me your address and I'll send you $20 and a thank-you note for taking your hatred elsewhere.
A terrorist with a sense of humor!
He ain't nuthin' but shit
inadequate, halfway house bullshit
You are a dumbass. Fuck you and your condescension about us "benighted sheeple." hamletta
Untruthful, damaging bullshit
no better than the neocons and no different than Timothy McVeigh
dailykos.coma turd in the punchbowl...if DF were Joe Hill he probably would have killed himself rather than get put to death.
A compost pile of fecundity
dailykos.comdespicable and literally mentally ill